I am an associate editor with a disciplinary journal. Another associate editor incessantly sends me manuscripts to review (as a reviewer) and I turn it down. I specifically avoid sending stuff to my fellow associate editors to review because I know they already read plenty for the journal. I wish this associate editor would take a hint and stop sending me stuff. (No, I am not the only or the best person for any of the work he sends me. I bet I’m just the first sort-of in-area person that comes to his mind.)

I had a “battle” with university-level sponsored research office at award closeout. I love how these always start with them being condescending and commandeering toward the PI, as in “Lowly PI, thou have transgressed. Thou must obey!” I pushed back hard, because I know my program managers would approve these expenses and the expenses have already been scrutinized heavily (heavily=taking way too much of my time) by department and college. Doing computational work, I dared buy computers for my students and I guess those are considered office supplies; no, for us they are not, they have custom configurations and are essential equipment). Eventually, the admin folded, but all this red tape irritates me to no end and is such a waste of time and energy.

I am teaching in person and it’s going OK. What I don’t understand are the students who have never showed up for class. Not once! Why sign up for an in-person section if you’re never going to show up and there’s another section that is completely online?

I have done a ton of writing for service since the semester started. All the blogging and fiction writing made this probably far easier for me than it is for most; I have almost no barrier (other than sheer laziness) when it comes to writing technical or admin materials. I wish we conveyed to prospective faculty members everywhere just how much of a faculty member’s job is writing. IT IS ALL OF THE JOB. Seriously. It feels like all I do is write or edit someone else’s writing.

During the pandemic, I have been doing OK. Some cabin fever, but not too bad, as I’ve managed to take my hourlong “murder-prevention walk” most days. But, in more frequent (online) interactions with colleagues these days, it is clear, yet again, what a wide chasm exists between those of us who have to take care of others and those who don’t. The thing is, overall I actually enjoy having all this extra time with my kids. During the day, Smurf sits at a desk next to me, while Middle Boy is just outside, in the next room. And no, I don’t kick anyone out when I have calls, because they have the right to go to their Zoom school. But I see some impatience and irritation from people on the other side whose kids are either nonexistent or safely tucked away. I heard from one kidless partnered colleague how some people have been just fine, working like nothing has changed. Yeah, I bet he’s been fine. All his comment did was made me want to cut him. (Look, I know all people have problems. But I am just not in a very charitable mood toward those who cannot see past their own nose and imagine how the pandemic affects those with significant caregiving obligations. And before anyone thinks to say “Well, you chose to have kids,” don’t. Just fucking don’t.)

Men v women. In my class, I polled the students about some class logistics and offered, as response options, strong preference for one or the other, some preference for one or the other, and neutral. All the boys expressed a strong preference, and all the girls expressed mild preference. That made me furious, because I guarantee that girls have preferences just as strong as anyone else’s, they’re just trained not to be too loud, not to demand too much. In contrast, the boys think that, of course, their wish should be everyone’s command. I remember this from my own relationships, where the man says we should do as he wishes because I don’t seem to feel very strongly about something (or anything), whereas the whole time I’m contorting myself not to be too demanding, too intrusive, or too much.

We have been instructed to strictly hold exams within our class periods, to minimize student clustering in the hallways and whatnot. Yet there’s of course an instructor (wanna guess their gender?) who insist on extending the exam 15 min into my class time. I am all for breaking stupid rules, but some rules are reasonable and necessary. Why are some people so fucking selfish to think these don’t apply to them? Just stay within your own goddamn exam period. It’s not that hard.

I’m so fucking tired of having to tone myself down, shut myself up, make myself small in order to palatable to people. It’s amazing how I didn’t see or rather didn’t mind it when I was young, all the mansplaining/condescension, and how much I do mind it now, and even mind it retroactively, fuming over the injustices done toward my younger self.

Yeah, I fume a lot.

In other news, writing is going well and I have had some contest placements and even have a request to revise and resubmit from a pro-paying market I’ve been trying to crack since I’ve started writing! Thanks to biweekly writing challenges, I have a ton of new flash to shop around, and the benefit is that I am less precious about any one story than when I write one every few months. The abundance (as opposed to scarcity) mentality is really something. And, as a result of constant practice, my writing leveled up—not only has the volume of my output increased, but so has its quality.

What’s going on with you, wise and worldly readers?