I say let them take the exam later on one condition:
You want the names of couple getting married, you want the phone number of the reception hall, and you are going to have somebody from Student Conduct in the room when you call to confirm the event.
Bwahahaha!
I have this old, vivid memory of feeling my stomach hitting the floor when the wedding announcement for my then father-in-law (widowed a year before) arrived in the mail near the beginning of a semester. The date was squarely in the exam period, although close to the end. I went to all of my professors and (briefly) explained the situation and asked when they would learn when their exams were scheduled. Everyone was sympathetic — which I was hoping for, but not expecting — and I followed up and found that only one class’s exam was scheduled for then. The professor was extremely generous and let me take it a day early on the conditions that I was leaving immediately afterwards and I — obviously — did not discuss the exam with anyone, in or out of the university. I still deeply regret not rocking that exam 100% as a thank you to him.
I think your to-be-wished-for response would be entirely appropriate.
Can’t you just ignore such emails and simply apply your rule on the syllabus regarding missing exams?
xykademiqz 
I say let them take the exam later on one condition:
You want the names of couple getting married, you want the phone number of the reception hall, and you are going to have somebody from Student Conduct in the room when you call to confirm the event.
Bwahahaha!
I have this old, vivid memory of feeling my stomach hitting the floor when the wedding announcement for my then father-in-law (widowed a year before) arrived in the mail near the beginning of a semester. The date was squarely in the exam period, although close to the end. I went to all of my professors and (briefly) explained the situation and asked when they would learn when their exams were scheduled. Everyone was sympathetic — which I was hoping for, but not expecting — and I followed up and found that only one class’s exam was scheduled for then. The professor was extremely generous and let me take it a day early on the conditions that I was leaving immediately afterwards and I — obviously — did not discuss the exam with anyone, in or out of the university. I still deeply regret not rocking that exam 100% as a thank you to him.
I think your to-be-wished-for response would be entirely appropriate.
Can’t you just ignore such emails and simply apply your rule on the syllabus regarding missing exams?