Fronds, anemones have the original potty mouth. The oral opening of an anemone is also the exit through which waste is expelled. We hope this fun fact helps you push through this hump day. pic.twitter.com/yxDvTLPQWu

— Monterey Bay Aquarium (@MontereyAq) April 28, 2021

For the last six years I’ve kept a spreadsheet listing every parking spot I’ve used at the local supermarket in a bid to park in them all. This week I completed my Magnum Opus! A thread.

— Gareth Wild (@GarethWild) April 27, 2021

I have never in my life related more to a McSweeney's piece. https://t.co/qOp3aeFFHd

— Emily Taylor (@emily_taylor__) April 26, 2021

I loved this column and rather than telling any of the stories of self-important men who think that they're geniuses I want to tell the story of how I wrote my trilogy back in the early 2000s. https://t.co/HcZ0Or9qyw

— Naomi Kritzer naomikritzer.bsky.social (@NaomiKritzer) April 25, 2021

Yes! The first time I held Nike in my arms she started making throw up noises, and the second time I held her she sneezed and got kitty snot all over my jacket and was thoroughly unrepentant. I turned to my family and was like, “This is the one.” https://t.co/ML6iWvwH0h

— eapetricone (@eapetricone) April 25, 2021

You know how sometimes after you push really hard, your body tells you to knock it off by making you sick?

It's occurred to me that procrastination may be my brain telling me that I'm trying to do too much.

— Mary Robinette Kowal (@MaryRobinette) April 23, 2021

pic.twitter.com/pMsW4so9W7

— dinosaur (@dinosaurcouch) April 24, 2021

This article made me rethink the whole idea that I was lazy because I procrastinate. And laziness in general. https://t.co/6X3oj6lVu1

— Juju Bee (@notbeforenoon) April 23, 2021

Took a pic of the cat lookin out the window and accidentally turned him into some sort of god. pic.twitter.com/xjN4W6peSJ

— Amanda (@amandahys7) October 1, 2020

I don't know if this is the poet in me, but I often have to defend a sentence from multiple rounds of edits because I sometimes like my writing to be a little wrong

— Elisa Gabbert (@egabbert) April 23, 2021

Love this: Henry VIII's wives if they'd never met him 😁 pic.twitter.com/xgugwWiZ6S

— Tracy Borman (@TracyBorman) April 23, 2021

This is the bed of the legendary courtesan Émilie-Louise Delabigne (1848-1910). The writer Emile Zola wrote about it in his novel, Nana. ‘A bed such as has never existed, a throne, an altar where Paris came to admire her sovereign nudity’.

Thread! pic.twitter.com/cfK8dJjKIE

— Whores of Yore (@WhoresofYore) November 13, 2020

Cation channel https://t.co/hdfR0nWmWM

— Oded Rechavi 💔 (@OdedRechavi) April 21, 2021

this joke brought to you by my old age https://t.co/KM6IpfCxYB

— Aaron Reynolds (@aaronreynolds) April 21, 2021

“When I was much too much, I kissed men who wounded me because I wanted them to…I relished in the way they looked at me confused. I basked in their misunderstanding.”

Check out @claudrosewrites’s piece “Much Too Much” from our upcoming issue!https://t.co/mzLOsuMBBB

— Oyez Review (@OyezReview) April 15, 2021

Me jumping from one problem to the next. https://t.co/TYDqs2uAm9

— Brett Charles Milam (@brett_milam) April 18, 2021

pic.twitter.com/r6mDcExHP7

— Classical Studies Memes for Hellenistic Teens (@CSMFHT) April 16, 2021

god i hate my girlfriend pic.twitter.com/5hs1QJi06r

— carter hambley (@carterhambley) April 16, 2021

P.A. Cornell's article overlaps with the sentiments in my SFWA blog post. Check it out! https://t.co/S49NHDXYqR

— Holly Schofield (@HSchofieldFic) April 14, 2021

why some people be mad at me sometimes.

by lucille clifton pic.twitter.com/D0V6C1cN8f

— deray (@deray) April 10, 2021

I’m almost 50, and here is the best thing I have learned so far: every strange thing you’ve ever been into, every failed hobby or forgotten instrument, everything you have ever learned will come back to you, will serve you when you need it. No love, however brief, is wasted.

— Louise Miller 🐐 (@louisethebaker) April 8, 2021

Can’t remember where I found this but everyone needs to see it 💕 pic.twitter.com/YUdTdKd3j0

— Sarah Glenn Marsh 🌈 isn’t here (@SG_Marsh) March 30, 2021

With hostility smoothed over by creamed corn: "How sweet of you, dear. More creamed corn?"https://t.co/ltV5J5bYid

— Timothy McSweeney (@mcsweeneys) April 6, 2021

“I love eating hot peppers, but my family doesn’t like them, so I had to make myself not eat peppers…Now I can eat peppers every day.”

I love Su Min’s adventures so much *my* family is offended. https://t.co/AlmSVpz49z

— eileen chengyin chow (@chowleen) April 3, 2021

pic.twitter.com/EvYtIkNPab

— Swear Trek (@swear_trek) April 2, 2021

Well, shit, Dorothy Parker: pic.twitter.com/FvFc0UsAqU

— Dr. Maya C. Popa (@MayaCPopa) April 1, 2021

Ever wondered why your fingers go wrinkly in water but not other parts of your body? It's not a simple reflex or the result of osmosis. Our fingers wrinkle in water due to an evolutionary response that enhances our grip underwater [read more: https://t.co/E6Tq2Xpze4] pic.twitter.com/xEVf6bA31Z

— Massimo (@Rainmaker1973) April 1, 2021

TASK AVOIDED FOR WEEKS COMPLETED IN 6 MINUTES
Woman, initially thrilled, realizes how much time she wasted fretting about it, stares into space

— Molly Priddy (@mollypriddy) March 30, 2021

pic.twitter.com/lns7D9MiHM

— WholesomeMemes (@WholesomeMeme) March 30, 2021

pic.twitter.com/303S7NADPs

— Kendall Reviews (@gjkendall) March 26, 2021

pic.twitter.com/lbhl61BrfP

— Fox (@hourlyFox) March 26, 2021

pic.twitter.com/PYxh1j9CcR

— Why you should have a cat (@ShouldHaveCat) March 24, 2021